Between euphoria and ennui

Between euphoria and ennui

Mar 12, 2024Alan Wong

Mental health carries less of a stigma these days, with governments and institutions stepping up (slowly and gradually) to tackle mental health issues, mass media spotlighting it in more benign ways, and more patients start sharing details of their lives and their conditions to raise awareness and understanding.

One of the latter is Chow Ee-Tan, a freelance writer who put together and self-published An Elated State of Mind, a little memoir about her experiences as someone living with bipolar disorder or manic-depressive syndrome. Each chapter is a diary-style entry of major points in her life, and a section on bipolar disorder is provided at the back.

Though symptoms of her condition appear to have manifested when she reached her teens, a chapter on her early childhood suggests signs of her disorder may have surfaced earlier. Since then, cures were sought and tried, including from faith healers, without success, until her condition was finally diagnosed. Thus, her journey to heal began.

As religion played a significant part of that journey and continues to do so, faith figures heavily in her accounts. Several incidents she recalls convinced her of the existence of a higher power opening doors to opportunities and guiding her through troubled times, so one cannot begrudge her devotion to her faith.

Despite this she is very much human, as evidenced by some messy detours on the path she walks. While there is some hint of pulled punches, what she chooses to tell still feels confessional, at times uncomfortable to read and perhaps uncomfortable for her to write.

Bipolar patients go through swings in their mood, from the highest peaks of elation to the deepest troughs of depression, and everything in between – and this greatly influences their decision-making. Hence, each chapter is bookended by mood indicators that clue readers in to her state of mind at the time.

Her manic episodes can be harrowing. In her euphoria, Chow dices with danger by talking and getting close to strangers. In between candid accounts of failed romances, time spent in psychiatric wards, memory lapses, and what could be supernatural encounters are snippets of how, with the help of friends, family, her faith and her pet dogs, she strives to manage her illness and live as normal a life as she can.

While it may seem like the author is indulging in navel-gazing, Chow's story serves as a window into a bipolar person's life. Her middle-upper-class background offers little protection from the disorder; her studies and her relationships suffered, and her emotions and physical health took a beating.

Once diagnosed, however, mental illness can be managed. Sufferers need empathy and support – and not merely charity – so they can live normal lives. Treatment, care and support for those with mental health also needs to be accessible and affordable.

Our understanding of mental illness is greater than it was several decades ago, but we still have a long way to go in coping with it and giving sufferers a leg-up so that they can manage their conditions and participate in society. Books like Chow's can help in that regard, shedding more light on the plight of those with mental illness, as well as their hopes and dreams, helping the rest of us understand what they go through and how we can help.

And through penning this book, she is also helping others like her feel less lonely while confronting the demons of her past – an important step in taking back control of her life.


This review is based on an advance reading copy. Get An Elated State of Mind here.

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Comments (1)

  • Thank you very much Alan for your positive and valuable review of my book. (I only just chanced upon it) You have managed to capture the heart and gist of my memoir, and indeed one of my objective or writing and publishing the book was to reach out to other bipolar persons.

    For those who are interested to buy it on MPHOnline, here is the link: https://mphonline.com/products/an-elated-state-of-mind-memoir-of-a-bipolar-person?fbclid=IwAR3v0yz49M1Vl6YuiEGKhJdHfzNPFHzsEG_TfdETU9CUsmwE1atej-bNH3w

    Chow Ee-Tan

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