“Born To Smile” written by Nora Abu Hassan is poignant coming of age memoir doubling up as both a self-help and psychology book which chronicles the author’s journey living with cleft lip & palate deformity from childhood, teenage years, motherhood and beyond.
The author brings to life the memories of being bullied in her early childhood days for looking different and being called names like sumbing, senget and sengau (unseemly, slanted and nasal) to the pain of having to undergo multiple surgeries for the surgical correction of the cleft deformities in multiple countries.
Apart from these onerus medical treatments, one can only imagine the emotional scars a child bears growing up. From having to give up swimming due to cleft patients being prone to ear infections (due to a dysfunction in the Eustachian Tube), to being depressed in school due to speech impediment and being teased and bullied by schoolmates. I can actually feel for the author when she writes about avoiding the playground, bicycle gangs and birthday parties as a child due to the pain of being tormented.
Nora candidly bares her soul detailing her insecurities with the opposite sex during teenage years with entertaining details of her first prom. And even recounts how initially keeping her repaired cleft a secret from her husband after marriage consumed and drained her emotionally.
However, Nora had an introspection and a coming of age – growing beyond mature, embracing her cleft condition and understanding the world & examining her own emotions in an entirely new light. In short, she found her purpose. Nora, who initially worked in banking and later managed a successful kindergarten now devotes herself to social work and raising awareness of non-profit organisations which provides treatment and support for cleft patients.
Being a cleft surgeon myself, I found the book to be an extremely honest multi-faceted entertaining insight of how a cleft patient sees life from a first perspective narration allowing us to understand and empathize with people with congenital anomalies. Reading this book reminded me of this quote by Albert Einstein, “The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.” It is about time we stop being mere bystanders but also stand up for those who are being bullied.
This book is a gem and a quintessential read for every serious cleft surgeon.
“A deformity should not just be judged by its appearance. The psychological impact also matters.” Ivo Pitanguy (1923-2016), renowned Brazilian Plastic Surgeon.
