Excuses, Excuses: I am Unable to Come in to the Office Today Because..

Most people will admit to telling the odd white lie in order to wangle a day off work, but only a master excuse maker could conceive of alibis including milking a walrus, contracting 'osmosis' and FOHP (Fear of Having Peaked) all of which, and more, are presented in this surreal and off  the wall book! CAUTION: Not recommended for use in actual workplace scenarios.