I Can Barely Take Care Of Myself

"Chelsea Lately" regular Jen Kirkman is "childfree by choice." Here's what she'd like to say to everyone who can't stop telling her she'll change her mind.It's hard to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human with no language skills or bladder control. Parenthood can be very rewarding, but let's face it, so are margaritas at the adults-only pool. Jen Kirkman's stand-up routine includes lots of jokes about not having kids (and some about masturbation and Johnny Depp), and total strangers constantly approach her and ask, "Who will take care of you when you're old?" ("Servants!") Some insist, "But you'd be such a great mom!" ("Really? You know me so well!") Whether living rent-free in her childhood bedroom while trying to break into comedy (the best free birth control around, she says), or taking the stage at major clubs and joining a hit TV show--and along the way getting married, divorced, and attending excruciating afternoon birthday parties for her parent friends--Jen is completely happy and fulfilled by her decision not to procreate. "I Can Barely Take Care of Myself" is a beacon of hilarious hope for anyone whose major life decisions have been questioned by friends, family, and strangers in a comedy club bathroom. And for everyone who wonders if Jen will ever know true love without looking into the eyes of her child. ("A girl can dream.")