The Pleasure Quartet: Autumn

An eminent psychiatrist has established there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. When Dominik died, I experienced none of these. I initially found myself reeling in shock and then all I could do was miss him, miss him and miss him over and again. Missed his presence, his words, the familiar hard warmth of his body in the bed next to me when I awoke on cold winter mornings and shamelessly, evoked all the many ways he would make love to me, the rawness of his domination and how I opened myself to him and his desires like no other man before him.